Dinner dates can be a make or break experience for people in the “getting-to-know” stage. So if you’re a gentleman hoping to develop a relationship with a lady, then here’s what to do on a first dinner date!
Eat slowly, and maintain eye contact
The most nerve-wracking item on the agenda for a dinner date is saying the right thing, sounding interesting, and starting the right conversations. Needless to say the pressure is off if you let her speak more than you!
Women like to be listened to, and generally like to talk more than guys, so eating slowly gives you time to be attentive, listen, and make her feel appreciated.
Maintaining eye contact is vital. If you’re shoveling in your food you’ll likely be looking at your plate rather than her, and all that will do is make her feel you’re not interested.
So slow down, savour your food, and enjoy every bite. Take the time to look your future wife in the eyes, appreciate what she has to say, and let her do more of the talking!
They’re simple tips, but if you don’t eat slowly and maintain eye contact you’ll likely find your date will make an awkward excuse to leave early, never to be seen again.
Choose topics carefully
Forget about the interesting political debate you read on Twitter this morning, it won’t go down well if you bring it up as a conversation starter on your dinner date.
Anything controversial, particularly political or opinionated, are conversations better left to your mates. Discussing your medical conditions won’t help either, even trivial stuff like how your back hurts from working so long at the office comes across as a negative and undesirable opinion. Conversations at a dinner date need to be positive and buoyant, so if you can’t do that you better hope she chooses topics for you.
Discussing work can be a faux par, and will potentially bore her or come across as gloating if you have a good job. Never say how much money you earn, and for those who drive a Porsche or Mercedes don’t make a thing of flashing your keys on the dinner table. All women want to know is you can offer stability in a relationship, which is also a good basis of character. If you’re unemployed or have a salary lower than most people, simply save that conversation for another time – focus on the points that sell you as a person.
Before the date take some time to think about what interests you which you feel might sell you as a person. Hobbies are often a good starting point, being something you’re passionate in, and something you can easily talk about. If you find any common ground you’re onto a winner!
Other good topics are family and relationships. Asking her about her siblings, parents, background, and her line of work are good conversation starters, not only to put the conversation in her court, but because they show interest in her as a person.
Choose wine over beer, and don’t drink if she doesn’t
To your beer may be the best, most refined drink in the world, but unless your date orders a beer you’ll be better off sticking to wine. Wine has an element of class and sophistication when it comes to a dinner date, so should be your drink of choice.
If your date decides to drink water it likely means she isn’t comfortable with your company as yet, and in this case you should refrain from drinking, even if you feel you need one to calm your nerves.
Be a wine connoisseur!
Being a wine connoisseur can take years to master, but knowing the basics is surprisingly easy. Simply knowing these cool wine facts from Matt at the Wine & Meat Co will give you some excellent conversation starters for your dinner date.
However you eat at home is up to you, but on a dinner date you need to ensure you’re up there with the best with restaurant etiquette. Keep in mind just one table etiquette mistake can put an impromptu end to the night.
Needless to say, no shoeys!
It’s easier to discuss what not to do when it comes to restaurant etiquette, so here’s some great tips:
- Sip wine, don’t gulp it
- Don’t make the dinner date a drinking spree
- Don’t swipe from your date’s plate
- Eat with your mouth closed, not open
- Eat slowly, savour the food, and show appreciation to the chef
- No foul language, cussing, or derogatory remarks
- Be polite and courteous to restaurant staff
Know when it’s okay to share food, and when it’s not
As a general rule there’s no reason to offer what’s on your plate to your date, and definitely don’t swipe anything from her plate.
If your date barely touches her food, then don’t consider this easy pickings if you’re still hungry. You can easily make her feel bad about her not having an appetite, or she may simply be as nervous as you.
If you feel you need a second helping, ask your date if she fancies trying another dish. If she seems enthusiastic then that’s a good sign the date is going to plan, and if she suggests a dish this is a good opportunity to say you wouldn’t mind trying that dish as well. You may have an inkling at this stage she may be willing to share the dish, and this can be a nice way to bond and feel a little closer to each other.
Staying calm isn’t easy when your nerves come into play, and likely won’t be possible in the lead up to the dinner date.
Just keep in mind your date is likely as nervous as you are, as are most genuine men in the same situation – it’s unavoidable.
Try not to mention how nervous you feel, but if she appears nervous herself you may both feel more comfortable by saying you’re a little nervous, especially giving the impression that you like her and you want the date to go well.
If you have any good tips for what to do on a first dinner date then say so in the comments – help your fellow man!